Reviews, Paradigms & Beliefs

Our Instincts Guide Us In Powerful Ways and We Need to Use Them to Create Peace and Optimal Outcomes for the World We Live In Today

May 28, 2025

We're creatures of Instincts — and we're shaped and guided every day by the interaction between the world we live in and all of the instincts that are embedded at multiple levels in our minds and in the thought processes that steer our lives.

We have instincts to be territorial, tribal, and loyal to our groups who we identify as being us — and we feel high levels of attachment and protective concern about those people and those sets of realities in our world.

Every living species has deeply embedded and extremely important instincts that run, channel, direct, steer, and guide their lives. Other species don't invent behavior from scratch for the interactions they have with the world they live in. The survival of every species depends on them interacting with the world in the context that gives them support for the functional realities of their lives in effective and relevant ways that fit the needs of each species.

Bees have massive patterns of instincts that are relevant to each set and subset of bees and have them survive and even thrive in each setting they're in.

Bees do elaborate dances that teach and tell the other bees in their hive where they should fly to find the exact food opportunities that are available in that setting. Those instinctive dances steer the other bees to the sites that will give that set of bees the supplies and nourishment they need to survive in that setting.

Each and every species has those sets of tools embedded in them as a species. Wolf packs have very strong sets of instinctive behaviors that help them find food and then interact with each other in effective and relevant ways in the hunting process to create survival levels and supplies of food that are needed for each group of wolves.

Wolf packs also have strong instincts to mate, to create baby wolves, to align with other wolves, and to set up cultures within each pack to determine which wolves are alpha, beta, and various levels of theta wolves as their young survive and grow into the adult population that helps the species survive in each setting.

We humans can recognize some of the instinctive behavior patterns that are soft wired into the wolves. We also mate, have our own kinds of cubs, our own territorial turf battles and definitions, and we have alpha and beta instincts that can create their own kinds of interactions and aspirations with us in each setting when they're activated.

We have sexual instincts that cause us to behave sexually and be motivated, steered, and guided to various sexual behaviors that we activate in each culture and each setting we're in, and that shape our thoughts, activities, and behaviors for major portions of our lives.

The internet is rich with various kinds of sexual images, thoughts, and behaviors that get our attention on a constant and steady basis — and that channel our thinking every day at multiple levels as people and as communities that shape our lives and give us a major context for our interactions with each other in almost every setting.

The instinctive behavior patterns we have are consistent and easy to see in most settings where we live as a species.

Being Us and Them is an instinctive behavior that has a huge impact on our thoughts and on our lives in almost every setting and creates the context for some kinds of sexual and social activities a high percentage of the time.

We Divide Into Us and Them In Many Settings

We instinctively divide the world into Us and Them, and we tend to have very different and powerful feelings about people we see and identify in each of those categories in every setting.

We tend to feel protective of our Us and of our We in each setting, and we tend to have negative, hostile, distrustful, and often angry feelings toward whomever we believe in a setting is an actual Them and therefore triggers those responses and reactions in Us.

The patterns are consistent and powerful in their impact on our lives. That's not an instinctive behavior and differentiation process that's limited only to people.

Wolf packs identify other wolves as their own kind of Them, and wolves are sometimes willing to fight to the death to remove Them from a setting or turf. That damaging and hostile behavior toward Them obviously feels very right to the wolves involved.

They don’t second guess their reaction and their response to other sets of wolves who aren't part of their Us.

Very much like the wolves, we tend to want to damage, diminish, and harm anyone we perceive to be Them in our settings, and we tend to suspend conscience and ethical beliefs relative to Them because we feel that it's right to support our Us in every setting and the ethics we usually apply to Us are often completely irrelevant relative to Them.

That unfortunate reality and set of negative interactions is clearly a very common pattern of behavior across the planet in almost all of our settings.

People like to pretend that set of instincts and and negative behaviors doesn't exist for us — but the evidence is all around us and it's overwhelming and clear that it exists everywhere and affects behavior in many places.

There are more than 125 ethnic conflicts going on in the world today, and all of those conflicts trigger that set of behaviors and beliefs and have people shedding blood and doing damage to each other with a sense that those behaviors are the right things for us to do in each of those settings.

It’s easy to see once you recognize what it is and then look at the world we live in to see what’s happening with those behaviors in all of those settings.

Nigeria, Somalia, Ethiopia, and Syria all have groups of people today who speak a different tribal language who are killing people who speak the other language in each setting, and who are feeling very justified in their behavior.

Our news media is breathtakingly incompetent, inept, incorrect, incomplete, inadequate, and inaccurate in not understanding, knowing, perceiving, and seeing that all of those conflicts in all of those settings are actually tribal at their core, and then relaying that fact to their readers and to their viewers and then explaining clearly why and how that's both accurate and true.

The media tends to write about those conflicts as if they were each somehow situational and even ideological or political in nature, and they ignore the obvious reality and clear and self-evident truth that the people killing other people in those settings are killing people with a different language, a different culture, and a different identity as a group — and there’s nothing relevantly political in each of those settings because the people identified as Kurds or Tibetan or Alawites in each setting can’t somehow convert politically or ideologically to becoming English or Irish or to some other tribe by relabeling themselves in the field in each setting with that other name.

That's hugely important information and the media tends to completely ignore what's happening in those setting and they constantly pretend when they do their reporting that everything in each setting is a situational incident and that nothing happening there is actually a pattern.

Gaza has more than 40,000 dead people today, and the relevant pattern there is that they all have a different tribal identity than the people who are dropping the bombs and doing the killing there.

Gaza is a tribal war.

The media miss that point in every report they've been writing about Gaza.

Likewise, Ukraine has people who speak the Ukrainian language who are killing people whose tribal languages and tribal linkages have always been Russian, and the people on both sides in that war are shooting and bombing at each other and feeling no guilt because they perceive the people they're killing who speak the other language to be Them.

Both of those settings have tribal instincts at full gear in very visible ways today. And none of the media that are writing about those situations describe those settings as the tribal conflicts that they clearly are, or even mention that the people are killing people from another tribe in very obvious ways.

Those are very dangerous instincts that have a powerful impact on our behavior in many settings.

People kill other people and discriminate against other people who activate and trigger that set of instincts that we activate in every setting where they feel like they are the right belief by the people in that setting about the other people in that setting.

We Have A Rich History of Us-Them Instincts Obviously Activated Here

We have a rich history in our country of activating those instincts and behaviors at multiple levels that are easy to see when you look to see if Us-Them instincts are clearly part of the thought processes and motivation factors for the people involved in all of those settings.

Our instincts have led us very easily and obviously down those paths in our own country in a number of relevant and highly visible ways for most of our history.

Slavery was a prime example as part of our activation history for that set of Us-Them instincts.

We enslaved people as a group for a couple of centuries.

We've also done massive ethnic cleansing and even somewhat genocidal behaviors against the original inhabitants of this continent and hemisphere with those set of dehumanizing instincts guiding our thoughts and behaviors relative to those sets of people in every setting.

We have had a recent period of relatively enlightened behavior in the last several years in a number of areas, and we should build on that enlightenment going forward from here as a nation because it can take us to some very good places if we do this well and if we maintain the best components of our recent progress in a number of areas.

To build a peaceful future for us all, we need to plan to make inclusion something we do well in the next several years. We've had some significant setbacks in a couple of areas recently, but we've also made some progress and we need to build on the best features of that agenda over the next several years in a couple of key settings and we need to return to a strategy of wanting all Americans to be united as a people by our core values and beliefs.

We need to decide to be a country that believes in inclusion for all of our people and that aspires and commits to win-win behaviors for everyone who is here, and we need to get through the anger and division that we're seeing in some settings today and then steer back to inclusion as our pathways for our national agenda.

We should understand, acknowledge, and recognize how badly we've done in some areas up to now as part of our history as a nation.

In this country, we've always discriminated in various ways against anyone who didn’t look like the original European tribe that took control of the land and then did very intentional partial ethnic cleansing against the original tribes who lived here.

White Europeans were the primary Us group who created and built this nation as a functioning political entity. The original Native American people who lived here by the tens of millions had a long history of very consistently and clearly being warriors against the other original tribes, and those original tribes didn’t form any effective coalitions or alliances against the invaders from Europe because of those historic animosities between tribes here.

Their resistance to the invasion was hampered hugely by having millions of people dying from the diseases brought here by the Europeans. Villages that had hundreds of thousands of people living in them for years before the Europeans arrived were wiped out entirely by those imported diseases.

White Europeans took over the continent and created the new set of tribal identities and the actual rules for local behavior. They had a mixed impact on the process — and we ended up with some very good thought processes and trajectories for many of the things they wanted to do as Americans from that white tribal identity and reality and some very evil behavior that damaged many people.

We were blessed by having some of the most enlightened people on the planet who were living in this country and building our new nation who were creating our declarations of independence and then building our constitution to build an accountable and enlightened governing process for the people living here.

It was very white at the beginning of that trajectory, but for those particular sets of people, it was often also very enlightened behavior for major parts of our history as a new nation.

The people in control of that process were very European and they were very tribal relative to the other people who lived here, but they were somehow politically enlightened about their own governance processes in some key ways at the same time.

They gave us a framework that was probably more progressive and positive in many political aspects than anything else that had happened historically anywhere on the planet up to that time.

That initial, very mixed set of behaviors was easy to see and understand, and it obviously had instincts shaping much of it in very clear ways that were both negative and positive for our goal of being an enlightened country and people.

Slavery was part of the package.

Slavery is an ultimate and extremely definitive Us-Them behavior. We had slavery as a key part of our history for over 200 years and we had to fight a very bloody war to get it out of existence.

Us-Them instincts are extremely powerful and they've shaped behavior and thinking at many levels for us here in both good and unfortunate ways.

We have a set of inclusive and enlightened values that we can and should build on to create the very best America of the future, and in order to do that at this point in time we will need to overcome some very powerful challenges that have tribal thinking and tribal linkages that will make those enlightened beliefs difficult but not impossible to use at this point in our history if we want to create the very best trajectory going forward from here.

We're tribalizing politically at this point in time in some very dangerous and possibly damaging ways, in a number of our settings and we need to help people understand how important it will be for us at this moment in time to teach the entire country that we need to rise above the division and anger and optimize our instincts at the core level to achieve inter group Peace.

We need to optimize the opportunities we face today — and to do that we will need to be very honest with ourselves and we need to understand exactly about who we are now and where we are going if we stay on this path going forward from here.

We Have Discriminated by Race, Sex, and Gender In Sometimes Damaging Ways

As a country, we've discriminated against people by race, ethnicity, and tribe, and we've also discriminated massively by sex and gender.

Sex is obviously extremely relevant and important to us as a species because it determines whether we will have a future for purely biological reasons.

Sex is also extremely important to us as a culture, because we have two sets of sexual instincts that aren't identical for men and women, and those sets of can be aligned in positive and beneficial ways and they can lead us to a future that has the most appropriate pathways going forward into the world that we're facing now as a species or lead us into some major problems that are being exacerbated by the realities of the new situations we are in now.

Having two paths for us on gender and sex makes sense at several levels.

Two paths is the normal situation we see everywhere on the planet for every form of life that has genders. No species that we've seen anywhere on the planet has the same set of instinctive behaviors and the same sexual approaches for the male and the female members of the species.

We did wonder if having single track for everyone on those issues for our species was possible for us for a number of years.

We were very politically correct about sex and gender for a while.

We went through a period of gender-related political correctness as a nation where we had people contending in positions of leverage and power that there were absolutely no differences between our sexes at any level.

There were books, articles, and thought pieces written saying that we taught our children their patterns of sexual behavior and that our schools and homes and our parenting skills were so powerful and effective that we could teach girls to prefer dolls as toys and we could teach boys to prefer trucks as toys and that set of choices and preferences wasn’t who they really were as people, but happened for our children because it was the stereotypical behaviors that they were taught from the earliest days of life by us as a people and a community.

That thinking was wrong.

Saying that there aren't different behaviors and behavior patterns for each sex obviously wasn't true, but we did have a brief period of time in this country where we made that our official belief, and we insisted in many settings for a number of years that anyone who didn’t say it as the official belief was a bad, wrong, and ignorant person and needed to be silenced rather than supported.

What is true?

We're actually all very different people from birth on for genetic reasons, and we also all have gender-based patterns of beliefs and behaviors from our cultures that influence us all from every starting point that we have in our lives to act in various ways relative to each other and to the community we live in.

We do have some patterns of behavior for both boys and girls that we can anticipate happening in groups of people with great consistency because they're based on the programming we get first as males and females from our genes and then from our cultures as we grow up and become educated.

Those patterns have ended up creating our cultures and expectations in many setting about gender issues and they happen because we have those boy and girl patterns of wiring on some issues, beliefs, and behaviors as an important part of who we are.

The patterns of behavior can be predicted, anticipated, and worked with to help steer us to future behaviors, and we need to do it in ways that allowed any people who preferred for any set of reasons to be on a different trajectory to be on the trajectory they preferred because that was an entirely appropriate and legitimate choice for them to make.

We can see that there are very different behavior patterns that people predictably choose and follow at a gender level. Boys tend to be more physically aggressive. That's a pattern, but it isn’t a requirement.

That pattern of behavior is highly predictable and it also doesn’t keep girls from also doing physically aggressive things and having that be a significant part of their world and their lives.

We have a continuum that is very predictable at multiple levels, and we have so many resources available to us that we should be able to have people supported in their chosen trajectory, and successful in their efforts to be who we each are in our own wiring as people.

We have strong instincts to be attracted physically and sexually to other people based on their appearance, and we know that both being handsome and being beautiful are often visually appreciated by the other gender as part of their life experience and context for interacting with each person, and create reactions and interactions based on how those instinctive desires, interests, and triggers make us think and feel.

Many species seem to have behavior patterns heavily influenced by the appearance of other members of the species with the opposite sex in their genes.

We're clearly not alone in that regard.

Peacock tails are a classic example, where outrageously extravagant, beautiful, and massive tails on the male peacocks seem to make the females happy and good natured and positive about the world they live in, and cause them to mate with the males of that species with functional commitment and alignments as part of that mating process for them as a species.

Beautiful and buxom women seem to have a strong positive visual impact on many men — and handsome, buff, and tall men seem to be viewed positively by many women — and that set of predictable and consistent reactions for both genders is obviously part of who we are as a species, and it clearly influences some of our own mating practices and behaviors in a range of obvious and consistent ways.

We don’t need to guess or speculate about what kinds of visual impacts might be happening for us as a species, because the internet has made it extremely obvious showing what men and women like as visual realities in our settings and our communities today, and we have a rich supply of visual information on the internet showing us what those patterns and interests are and what people are doing visually to improve their chances of being sexually involved and successful with the other sex.

We have millions of internet sites focused on beauty for women and focused on sexual imagery for men, and those sites have millions of users and manage to be financially and socially successful as focal points for participation by both sexes.

Our goal as a people and a society and a culture should be to have both men and women ending up with sex as a benefit for us all and as a life enhancing behavior that we could continuously improve if we get this right and act in intelligent and optimal ways that give us our own peacock tail and nest-building equivalents for steering our behavior to optimal pairings in our own sexual trajectory and adventures.

We should each make our life choices in those areas with the sexual alignment that works for us and that gives us the best momentum for success as communities and people.

Sexual alignment should be a choice that each person makes for themselves, and sexual behavior should always and absolutely and completely be consensual.

Those beliefs and those realities should under pin any of the sexual choices that any of us make with our lives.

Sex should never be forced or imposed on anyone.

No one should be forced to do anything sexual, and we should each have the opportunity to be with whomever feels like the right sexual relationship for our lives and who is consensually in that position for their own lives, and open to being sexual with us.

Our cultures have dealt in very explicit and sometimes complicated ways with sex, and we should better understand now why and how that happened.

Basic biological and functional realities have caused cultures everywhere to treat people differently by gender.

We had some flaws in that behavior at some points in our past.

Anyone looking at the historical record can see that we have a long history of discriminating against women at multiple levels. We didn't even give women the right to vote in this country until the most recent century, and we've discriminated at multiple levels in ways that we see happen in cultures across the planet.

Babies are important to understand why some of the earlier gender-related behaviors and cultural expectations happened.

We need babies in order to survive as a species. We need to have offspring, and we need them to survive and hopefully thrive in each setting if we're going to continue as a species.

Some of the historical and functional issues and factors that created the rules and expectations of our cultures in many communities were fairly clear.

In the early days of our species, when we were hunter-gatherers in our various villages, we needed the men to protect the group and to hunt the game that created core survival calories in many settings, and we needed women to have babies and nurture them in ways that enabled them to survive.

We raise our children slowly as a species and we need to feed and protect them for the better part of a decade at a minimum level to help ensure their survival.

Our Cultures Serve Our Instincts

That set of realities created some expectations and rules for our cultures.

Our cultures serve our instincts. That's always true. It’s what they always do.

Our cultures are the sets of rules and expectations we set up in every community to achieve the goals and the expectations that our instincts create.

We're hard wired to be loyal to our group and we're also hard wired to follow the cultures that are created by each group setting.

We're so linked to following and obeying our cultures that we often will set up cultural rules for standing in line, and people in the line feel real anger at an almost primal level if someone violates those rules in that setting.

Each group creates its own culture and we tend to build them in very explicit ways with the intent of achieving the goals and expectations that our instincts create.

Our cultures have roles for men and women about the basic functioning of every setting.

Some of the expectations for women that seem to exist everywhere relate to keeping our children healthy and alive.

After women gave birth, the people in every setting needed an ongoing supply of food to keep the children alive. If we look at those settings where those kinds of family gatherings exist today or existed in the recent past, the usual model was to have men skilled at hunting, fishing, and various kinds of protein collection processes that were needed by each group to keep the family fed.

Men often were expected by their cultures to hunt for food and the male behaviors in those settings reinforced that process.

Mothers protected the children.

Mothers also tended to maintain the hut and cook or prepare the food for the family and group. They did a lot of gathering of nuts and berries, and the cultures of many groups often had those gathering processes creating a major supply of calories as well to keep the family alive.

The mothers often had relatively few options for non-parental and external activity roles, and the cultures and settings that seemed to survive in those parts of our history had women overwhelmingly in those roles.

Many packages of instincts are triggered by both men and women by those realities. We had courting instincts, and both genders seemed to have parts of the courtship process that they liked doing.

Sex, itself, obviously is and has been an important factor in the instinctive behavior packages. And every culture has its expectations for sexual behavior that are important, because sex can be important to people as an ongoing part of their lives and we all seem to want to have successful sexual experiences and involvements as a key part of who we are.

Cultures create the context for that to happen.

We all learn the nuances and details of our situational and group culture on sexual issues wherever we are and wherever we plan to be. We teach those practices and expectations to one another, and we tend to believe that whatever set of sex activities and behaviors that are built into our culture are both right for ourselves and are the right thing for the community at large to do today and now in our lives.

Within cultures, we have our own preferred set of people and groups whose sexual practices and rules steer our lives, and we tend to focus on what that group and setting tell us to do. We tend to place heavy weight on the culture elements relating to sex for our groups because it's an important part of our lives.

Other creatures have collective sexual behaviors and some levels of behavioral expectations and guidance as well.

It's a hugely powerful instinctive behavior for almost every species in the time frames when it's the right thing to do for each species.

We're not alone with having sexual instincts steering and affecting our lives.

Wolves have instincts about sexual behavior, and other species that have sexual activity as part of their lives all seem to make that activity a priority for their thoughts, actions, and behaviors at the point in the process and the point in their lives where it's needed for that species to succeed and survive.

Stallions and mares have obvious patterns that relate to sexual activity in obvious and visible ways and male salmon actually sometimes swim 1000 miles to fertilize their eggs as their direct and explicit sexual contribution to the survival of salmon as a species.

We have many examples of sexual activity and courting behaviors for other species. Mallard ducks have elaborate courting flights that are sometimes almost stunning in their vigor and complexity, and eagles sometimes fly far above everything on the planet and have free-fall sets of clasping behaviors that are logistically amazing and clearly intended to create alignment with each other before the eagle pairs go down that tedious trajectory to building nests that they sometimes share for years with each other after those flights.

Eagles seem to bond with each other as the result of that courting process and they often apparently continue to be a couple for as long as other life logistics cause and allow that to happen.

Various other species of birds have both courting behavior and collective nest and shelter building that have more than vague resemblance to our own nesting behaviors for many of our couples and our settings as people.

For our species, sex can be a beneficial and positive activity that creates an entire package of behaviors that can sometimes happen for sexually aligned and active people. That was very true in the past in many settings and we know what many of those patterns are and have been.

In many of our earlier social and functional tribal groupings and settings, the cultures very much wanted the male in the setting to continue to hunt game and to protect the hearth against wild cats after the woman is impregnated, so many early cultures built a reward system for the males to stay in the family setting and to not abandon the family that's part of his genetic trajectory.

One reward that cultures used for men was sex itself.

Sex can be an extremely pleasant and positive thing, and it's often a priority interest for many of our people, at least part of the time, so many cultures enticed men to stay with whomever they impregnated by also having that be the setting and that relationship also be where actual sex happened in a consistent way for those men.

Those practices in some cultures actually functionally limited sex to that family setting.

Sex in any other non-marital setting was against the law for both men and women in a number of cultures, and young men who wanted to have sex in those cultures had to have a wife and have sex in the context of that relationship to have that joy in their life.

One of our strongest instincts we have as people is to achieve alpha status in a setting. People often aspire to be alpha and many find the psychological rewards of being alpha to be very rewarding emotionally and clearly motivational for their thinking and behavior at multiple levels.

Men tend to be heads of families in many traditional cultures and settings.

Almost every culture we've seen across the planet with family settings has set up men to be the alpha head of each family.

Men have traditionally been family leaders with that status in almost every known culture and even the US census listed men as head of family on that census reporting system until three decades ago.

Men love to be the alpha ins a setting, so men have been enticed with that status in many cultures and settings to stay with many marriages to achieve both sex and power in their own lives. People tend to like being the boss, and the head of each family has traditionally had alpha status in almost every culture that we've seen. Families exist in almost every setting, and that’s good for our survival as a species because children are more likely to survive if they're part of a family unit.

The logistical issue of parentage and of actual parental status has also been a key factor in our cultural rule set that has been created for many settings.

Women always know which child they gave birth to, but we can’t always tell or know who was the actual father of any particular child. Men stay with families in-part by believing that the children in that setting and family came from their biological lineage, and rules about women’s behavior that were set up in many cultures to both create and reinforce that belief.

That reality about the uncertain parentage for children has caused many cultures to set up very strict rules about women's contact with other men to make sure that each man is protecting and feeding his own children and not someone else's children.

Some cultures have set up extremely negative and highly controlling functions for women for that direct contact area, and those cultures sometimes do cruel things to women to enforce those rules.

Even today, we have many thousands of “honor killings” happening in a number of cultures where the brothers or other family members stone and kill girls who spend any time in any setting that the family believed meant that her “honor” might have been impaired.

The possibility of a mistake in that area of absolute security on the honor issue is enough to get many girls killed today. That continues to be a horrible situation in those settings, and we should do what we can to not support or encourage that behavior in the many places where it happens.

We need to not do sexual abuse in our own settings as well.

We need to have our own gender-related negative behavior channeled in good directions. We need to have actual sexual abuse reduced to low levels and we also need our work settings to be functionally intolerant of damaging behavior on sexual issues.

We've done better in some of those areas in recent years.

We Need To Continue To Reduce Sexual Abuse Levels In Our Settings

We made significant progress on gender-related abuse in those areas in the last couple of years as the result of the Me Too movement that made women in many of our settings less accepting of some behaviors that we ignored as a nation for years, far too many times, and we recently created a significantly better level of expectations relative to a wide range of negative sexual behavior as the result of that Me-Too linked awareness.

We still have far too many women in the military services who report levels of sexual damage and abuse, but those numbers are also getting better, and progress is being made that we need to continue going forward from here.

We need well-intentioned leadership steering in the right direction on those issues in all of those areas.

We know from some Wikipedia-like reports and other historic writing that in some of the absolute worst-case areas of the world, a majority of women report having been sexually assaulted during their lifetimes. South Africa has had some poor performance in some areas relative to sexual violence issues, and some areas there have reported a majority of women being abused during their lifetime.

Fiji has had a long history of being badly supportive of women in some ways that lead to sexual violence, and over half of the women in parts of Fiji say they were sexually assaulted at some point in their lives.

Current reports show that the Fiji population is doing better now in some of those areas, and they set up a worst-case expectation and context reality with some of their prior performance that shows how badly some of those instincts can harm women in a setting that doesn’t make avoiding sexual violence a priority or an expectation.

In our own country, we enforce rape laws and we report rapes publicly. We're currently averaging 38 rapes per 100,000 residents, with Alaska at the highest level in the nation at 118.4 rapes per 100,000 residents, and New Jersey at the lowest level with 17.9 rapes per 100,000 people.

All states make rape a legal priority and strongly support anti-rape laws and regulations.

We've had flat numbers on the number of rapes for a number of years.

We should be working to reduce the levels of sexual assault at all levels in this country, and we should be trying to reduce the numbers that exist now.

Our primary issues today for sexual behavior deal with the exact opposite of sexual assault. We're currently in an explosion of sexual activity and sexual interest, and our new electronic tools are feeding that avalanche of sexual behavior in constantly evolving and expanding ways.

The Internet Creates an Avalanche of Sexual Interactions and Information

The internet is full of sexual information, images, and opportunities.

Information about sex is instantly available for just about everyone in this age of social media and internet activity.

Pornography and sexual images have been the highest volume use of internet connections from the very first years of operation and existence, and that use isn’t decreasing now.

Social media sites have wisely and carefully set up barriers and resistance to the flow of actual sexual visuals and information to their participants and customers.

Most social media sites don’t allow pornography in their information flow, and that doesn’t slow the sharing of that information because there’s a vast array of other sites that have that pornographic levels of information easily available, and those sites have their customer base engaged at high volume levels now.

Banning basic levels of pornography from the commercial and social media sites has been a very solid, wise, smart, useful, and effective business decision for the social media sites and for the high volume commerce platforms on the internet because of the power of our sexual instinct programming and the desire of the people who control the other sites to make them consistently available for non sex activity and non sex content and not have them dominated by sexual content.

That ban allows all of those other sites to function with the other information flows and the topics that they need to keep and expand their customer base, and it gives their customers who want to avoid those images and to avoid that sex related content to have a safe and protected place to be on the web and do other business and other transactions.

The various social media outlets don’t want to become primarily sex information tools and channels, so the various search engines and social media sites tend to have very strict rules about what levels of sexual information can be shared on those sites.

That's been the business decision of the owners of those commercial sites and it’s a very good decision because we have extremely powerful and persuasive sex instincts that have strong links to visual stimulation and topics — and the functional reality is that those sites could all be impaired, overpowered, massively sidetracked, and even functionally crippled by the volume of sex-related information that would exist there if those rules and those prohibitions for sexual content did not exist.

Our traditional public news media outlets and channels have also tended to create somewhat similar restrictions on what they will show visually, and we have cultural rules and expectations about what those images are that we comply with massive levels of compliance in almost every public media setting.

We're so wired into our cultural rules and our culture guided thought processes that a small variation from the allowed and expected visual content on a public site can actually be sexually titillating and even exciting to some viewers for those sites when it happens.

Forbidden images as a concept seems to be built into our cultural programming about sex, and we sometimes have forbidden images triggering disproportionate responses, and that can be both delighting and horrifying to some of the viewers based on their sense of what that “forbidden” functionally is and how they feel about that particular content.

Our cultures set up the rule kits that we use to achieve our instinctive functional goals in just about every setting of our lives, and sex interacts with the cultures we set up to run other aspects of our lives.

We clearly have strong hierarchical instincts, so every functional and community setting has a hierarchy in place and each setting creates the rules for who achieves power and status in that process and hierarchical ranking.

Kings, chiefs, captains, commanders, and organizational chairs are each defined by the setting they're in — and each has the ability to channel other members of each group to trigger their loyalty and to ensure their compliance and their support for what the leader in each setting channels and steers the group to do.

The internet gives us tools to help each group function in alignment with the direction set in each situation by the culture of the group and the leaders for that setting.

Sex is part of that package much of the time and the sex part of that package is consistently expanding.

The new web connection tools and rapidly evolving and expanding artificial intelligence kits have made pornography and sexual imagery of various kinds easily available to anyone who might want to see it, and the new processes and new tools now give users a wide range of new ways of visualizing and using that information that each person can custom build to their own visual prescription and interest and makes that whole visual aspect a changing and evolving situation at this point in time in ways that no one even thought possible just months ago.

We now have a growing set of artificial intelligence systems that actually function as sex toys and sex surrogates — and it’s now possible today to buy a link to a kind of sex robot and an electronic sexually influenced personality that can say and do a wide range of things that used to be only available through various levels of direct contact prostitution and through sexual contracting with people who did sexual things for money.

It's possible to buy a sex robot and an electronic sex slave today that's more advanced in terms of sexual content, function, and service levels than anything that has existed for sexual performance and sexual functionality in our history and our existence as a species.

Sex can be a very good thing.

If we do sex right, it can be a blessing, an asset, a benefit, and an extremely positive enhancement experience for our life. Sex can and should be a good thing if we do it right.

We've always had the opportunity for sexually aligned and appropriately supportive and appreciative people to do loving and exciting sex-linked things for the people they love, and we now have the opportunity to go down some of those basic paths electronically with machines doing the key interactions in highly targeted, consistent, and reinforcing ways and with no other human being in the loop for that entire experience for the people who buy those services and those products.

It's a new business and it exists on the internet.

It’s a business that's obviously and clearly primarily targeted today at men because the particular sex interactions and the visual impacts created by those businesses are aimed at male instinctive behavior patterns and male sexuality programs.

We now have a number of artificial intelligence programs that are targeting sexual behavior just through computer connections and there are multiple artificial intelligence services and programs for sale who now aspire to get men, in particular, signing up for sex tools and communications that deal with some of the basic instincts we have for sexual thinking and behavior and activate them for those targeted men with electronic and artificial intelligence support.

This is actually happening.

We can buy those tools today on Instagram and it’s related services and millions of customers.

Artificial Intelligence and Actual Full-Size Sex Robots Are Both For Sale Now

The first levels of those programs and devices have been targeted at men on the internet today and they're clearly not the final set of sex toys and devices that will be available to us as a population. Very smart people and adept and ambitious businesses are clearly using those artificial intelligence thought processes and tools to create products for our sex instinct marketplace that will be different than any of the opportunities that have existed for us in the past.

Sex is clearly on a fast track electronically at multiple levels, and we're at the very beginning of the trajectory for downstream future possibilities in the face of products and services that are available today and can be purchased now and used today in a wide range of ways that we didn't expect, anticipate, or even suspect as recently as a couple of months ago.

Several companies now sell actual physical robots that perform sexual functions in-person for their owners — and the number of those opportunities and those physical robot functions available for personal purchase is clearly going to continuously expand.

The market for those products is real and it's overwhelmingly male.

That's likely to continue to happen. The instincts on those sex-linked issues are clearly different in some key ways for men and women, and as the Chaplain for the Institute very insightfully said about gender-linked behavior in looking at this thought piece and at those behaviors: “Women will not pay to have a robot say I Love You.”

That feels right.

It’s an important point to understand about some of the very real and very relevant differences between men and women on these issues.

Women are not likely to pay to have a robot say “I love you."

Men pay now for that communication and for the set of products and artificial intelligence based tools that now offer that level of communication on those issues to men clients, and that market is growing fairly rapidly.

So, what does that tell us about our responses to these opportunities, and what should it tell us about both artificial intelligence and our overall strategies for dealing with instinctive behavior opportunities and tools in our world today?

Looking at the big picture, we should recognize that the very best outcome for using artificial intelligence for us as a society now is probably to have tools and opportunities that are respectful of our worth and that respect our value as people and that give us ways of achieving our various instinctive goals and programs and our functional services and needs in ways that give us better lives and more successful outcomes for those processes and services.

We're obviously now going to be using artificial intelligence broadly in almost everything that we do in almost all of our settings.

If we do use artificial intelligence well, our lives should be better as a result.

We shouldn't need to learn to actually program computers ever again, because we now have artificial intelligence tools that can do that programming for us and can do it very well.

We want people who can function as physicians and do it with the very best information about each patient and with the very best information about each treatment and each disease and they have that much better set of information help them and make them into a better doctor for their patients.

We need bookkeepers who do better bookkeeping because of the artificial intelligence information flow, and we need to make decisions about what to buy in any setting and how to pay for it based on the best information flow about the decision that has the best data provided to us for those purposes and our current settings in real time now.

People should still be part of the process of supporting functions at several levels.

We need to have in-person caregivers for a growing range of older patients, and we should have real people with great information able to perform that support and care for those patients in the most relevant and appreciated way.

Where AI can’t replace us is in actually having and enjoying sex.

Sex in-person is something that we need to handle ourselves and it's probably the next frontier, goal, focus, and approach for us as people because we're the ones having sex in our world — and doing it in-person ourselves is the best model because that’s exactly where we are and what we can do now with the body we live in now — and we should optimize that experience in intentional and effective ways in our lives.

That approach requires us to set up sexual encounters and experiences in our lives and to steer them to optimal outcomes.

We should get better at setting up and supporting those relationships and activities.

We have powerful courting instincts, and people tend to have rewarding experiences with the courting processes when they're done skillfully, appropriately, and well.

We can and should set up dating and social relationships that create sexual encounters at multiple and appropriate levels, and we can and should get better at having various kinds of relationships and even have our marriages give us that positive and successful functional reality for people who choose that trajectory for those interactions and relationships.

To enhance that process and those outcomes, we should figure out ways of creating better and more successful partnerships with our spouses that enhance and support the marital processes and that give us peace of mind and physical satisfaction, and even sexual satisfaction and gratification, that works for both parties in each marriage that we can and should put in place now.

The majority of people in our nation and society get married — and we should work on channeling and utilizing instinctive behaviors to make those marriages more successful.

We clearly can be very simple creatures on a few core issues. And we should recognize what they are and we should channel them into our marital realities.

We should ask married people to very intentionally do the right things to show each other that we love each other and to prove to each other that we want to have each other to benefit from that relationship.

Sex should be an asset in those relationships.

People who love each other and who want the person they love to have a good life that can continuously improve should make sex a tool they use to support, enable, and sustain that process.

For ongoing and appropriately available and delightfully functional sex, we should learn to create better partnerships and to set up direct, loving, and trusting alliances and interactions with our spouses, and we should play together to make sexual experiences pleasant, desirable, and supportive of each other in the sexual space that the marriage can and should create and support for us if we do that right.

We should optimize our sexual experience in intentional and effective ways, and we should think of this as an opportunity for sexual experiences and for sexual learnings that give us better and more complete lives with that aspect of who we are available to us on a daily and constant basis for our lives and reinforced by the lives we live and by our interactions with each other in that context.

Sex should be a positive, beneficial, supportive, and even often wonderful thing, because it’s so deeply engrained in who we are and because being sexual is not a bad thing to do and or a bad thing to be if we do it intentionally and then do it well.

We're very wired to be visual in our sexual endeavors.

We should be able to celebrate and enjoy being visually pleased and attracted to whomever and whatever we find meets our hopes and expectations for visual stimulation and sexual interest and we should make that intentional stimulation part of our lives in intentional and effective ways.

We should have our own visual triggers available to us all in a nonintrusive and noninvasive set of images and visual impacts that we can have available for us today on the internet and that give us some of the same kinds of visual reinforcement and interactions that we can now achieve with the best music and with the most lovely visual art at many levels with computer support in our settings and our lives.

Men are wired to be highly visual in their sexual interests, and we should recognize that reality for what it is, and we should both work with it and make it part of what we do and who we are.

The Swedish theologian Emanuel Swedenborg wrote about the blessings of God in our lives in his thought pieces and he very insightfully counted Connubial Bliss as one of the very best blessings we get from a loving God, because the connubial connection can be so wonderful when it's done well and when it's mutually enjoyed in a marriage.

He strongly believed in marriage in a very Lutheran way and he believed that we each should be married and that we should and could each find bliss in that relationship with our spouse.

He believed that we should enjoy the entire array of those normal and available marital activities and that we should thank God for the opportunity to have sex be part of our lives and to have a spouse to share the bliss with.

Sex Should Only and Always Be Consensual for It’s Participants

As we look at sexual activity, it’s clear that we should be completely consensual in our interactions and consensual and respectful in our sharing of information and visual content.

As a basic belief and a core commitment, we should avoid any nonconsensual sexual behaviors and we should avoid coercive sexual activities with the other people in the sexual components of our world.

Privacy issues are also extremely important to us in the internet age for each of us and we need to work with that reality in the process in our own relationships.

We need to respect and protect privacy for all parties, and we shouldn't have anyone sending or sharing visual information that was stolen or taken from any private sources without the approval of the person being portrayed in the piece and voluntarily sharing the information.

As we look at visual images on the internet, there’s no reason for us not to only use, enjoy, and appreciate visual images for our own viewing that we believe are consensual in their availability and in their display.

We do live in a world where many married people aren't happy with their marriage, and we should think of that as an opportunity to have those relationships improve.

The fact that they're married says that there was a time when they were deeply attracted to each other, and those people should be open to the possibility of having that initial spark rekindled in some way by current experience and an explicit commitment to build in the most effective ways on that foundation.

From a sheer logistics perspective, the fact that two people are married means that there’s physical and functional opportunity to optimize their relationship and their setting — and if they succeed, they will have a huge win in their lives because sex can be wonderful and pleasant and far better than a life with no spark and no affection.

If a married couple manages to talk to each other in a friendly way and decide to do some pleasant, interesting, and intentional way — and have even at least slightly exciting sexual activity — that activity and process is far better for both of them than anger, cold interactions, and the continuing levels of physical isolation that has both parties unhappy with their lives and feeling that the world should be a better place for them than it is now.

There are some instincts that support that process.

We want to be seen, appreciated, and not alone.

Our instincts steer us away from isolation and from cold interactions with one another when warmth and cuddling might be an alternative behavior and when friendly contact can be an alternative reality.

The fact that many people are married is a good thing and the world would be a much better place at several levels if more of those marriages succeeded.

Some marriages are effective, reinforcing, mutually supporting, and wonderful, and the world would be a better place if we could figure out what we should do to make those marriages happen in far more settings.

We have a number of troubled and even failed marriages in the process, and we need to work with those marriages to help them recover if we can.

It's entirely possible that we have screwed up in some settings as couples because we haven't looked at the actual situation that exists with key instinctive behaviors in those particular marriages, understood the situation more clearly, and then made the right information available to all of those people who currently don’t have a clue about some key aspects of what's happening now in their marriage, and could change those trajectories today with the right set of information and couple of direct physical interactions that are the right thing to do to make any actual marriage work.

Honesty is a needed foundation.

We would be well served if we could somehow persuade more couples to be sexually honest clear with each other about some aspects and categories of sexual behavior in their marriage and then do sexual things with one another that both parties enjoy and find reinforces the opportunity to have fun and to enjoy being with one another.

We don’t need full disclosure and complete sharing on all sexual issues, but we would be well served in many settings if we could get the parties in a marriage to say and explain nicely to each other what they aspire to sexually in the marriage and what they hope to see and experience in the other person in that relationship on basic sexual activities and behavior.

People often don't have a clue about those issues for their marital partners, and no one can succeed in those areas without having a clue about what they are.

It's actually a low bar for some marriages because some of the sexual requests and aspirations for men and women aren't that complicated to understand or hard to do, and they could be added to the mix if the people in the marriage decided to do those activities with each other and for each other in that setting.

Sometimes very simple behavior changes make one or the other partner in a marriage both satisfied and happy, and those changes will never happen by people magically figuring out what they are. Magical thinking impairs some marriages, and no one knows that it exists because neither party is sharing that information.

Honesty is a key asset and resource, and a great foundation for future behavior. We should each make the commitment to not say anything to our marital partner that we know isn't true at the moment we say it.

Marriages and marital types of relationships should define their own rules for sexual information sharing and use with each other and we should over explain basic points to each other rather than hoping that people can somehow read between lines and will somehow align behavior accordingly from incomplete information.

Respectful information sharing should be a skill set for each person in a marriage and it can be a joy and it can be possible to do because both parties actually want the marriage to work or they wouldn't be in it and sometimes one piece of information lasts forever and makes the process work for a couple.

In the context of Swedenborgian Connubial Bliss, each couple can and should set their own standards inside the relationship for visual availability of images of the world and of each other, and each couple should work out the rule sets, approaches, and standards that work for each relationship for viewing information and for basic sexual activity in the setting.

Every couple can and should create their own rules and expectations about what sex views and information can be shared and enjoyed visually without violating the agreements that make the marriage an actual marriage without having only sexual images from inside the marriage seen by either party at any time.

We should encourage couples to be open, honest, and clear with each about the legitimate, normal, and powerful impact of those images and views in a sexual context as part of the overall interaction and process that creates positive and optimal sexual outcomes.

Political correctness and societal vagueness about that issue of visual availability has failed in millions of settings, and we should learn from that mistake and we should do it now if we want marriages in this context and in this time frame to succeed.

Men Tend to Be Very Visual Sexually and Highly Focused

Men are extremely visual and often relatively simple, and it's clear and obvious that breasts (and boobs) tend to be the preferred sexual visual subject and object that most men seek today when using the internet for visual sexual content.

That’s true for men in home settings and it's particularly true for sharing of information on the internet because that’s what men choose to see on their screen and in their visual web.

If we want marriages to succeed, that visual reality is a key point that both parties to the marriage need to believe is a good idea and hopefully will discover and believe that it's pleasant and beneficial.

From the perspective of pure and sheer practicality, it can be absolutely appropriate, legitimate, positive, normal, inspirational, and sometimes beneficial to have the woman in a marriage arrange and enable whatever is needed to have her own breasts visually available both electronically and in-person directly and visually to her spouse.

Selfie photos of the women are sometimes deeply appreciated by the men and they're sometimes not understood or seen by the woman who sends them as being important and as a proof to him of her attachment and her attraction to the man.

Those photos are sent by the millions, and the fact that millions are sent means that they're important to the process and to the communications happening between the woman and the man.

Men tend to be simple creatures on those issues and those instincts are so strong for many men that it’s game-changing not to support that basic instinctive desire and goal and to have that visual exchange happen for the couple.

We have a history of sharing that information within marriages.

There are marriages where that's not true and there are relationships where that information sharing is not the right thing to do for a particular couple for any number of reasons, and those marriages should acknowledge that reality and create their own ways of sharing their love visually with each other in equally intentional ways — but for the majority of men and for the majority of marriages, that visual is both important and beneficial, and the couple should figure out in the most appropriate ways how to make that happen.

Confidentiality for that electronic image is a very legitimate concern at that point and it makes sense for women baring their bosom to their husband in person or electronically to not want that information and that visual image shared with anyone except their intended sharer within the marriage. The new standards of confidentiality are relevant to that sharing process — and we clearly do it as part of communicating with the other sex in those settings.

Other species actually have some equivalent visual communications between the sexes that tie to the mating process.

The tail feathers of a hen pheasant and the profile they create cause rooster pheasants to go into courtship mode and to feel very aspirational, positive, and affirmative about the hen pheasants in their scope of vision.

The tail feathers of a female turkey seem to have similar impact on the courtship aspirations of turkey gobblers, and men who hunt turkeys extensively know that they can lure the amorous male turkey into range to be shot with just a silhouette of the female turkey set up to be seen on the edge of the field.

We humans seem to be similarly motivated and inspired by female breasts and there’s extended experience in millions of internet encounters of men asking for cell phone selfie bosom photos for their spouses. We know that happens, and we should understand it as a normal and healthy, instinctive behavior and we should make it happen in marriages in confidential ways as a normal component of marital communications.

Men tend to be hard wired to appreciate, enjoy, and to want to see naked breasts and many men say they have a particular appreciation and fondness for of the breasts of the woman they're married to as a favorite thing to see in person or electronically. That's often a favorite visual benefit for a significant number of men in the internet world we live in today in the marital relationship and context, and the number of women who've sent that particular visual to the person they love obviously numbers in the millions today and is a high impact and much appreciated part of many relationships.

Selfie pictures of breasts happen by the millions and many men report a sense of achievement and accomplishment when they get those photos and have them available on their phone.

Some men have a sense of having the woman offering a visual affirmation of her commitment to the relationship and to his role as the man in her life at the most personal and immediate level when that picture shows up on his phone.

When men in our society are asked for their favorite visual and when asked what they want to see sexually, the word “boobs” is stated, listed, and answered an extremely high percentage of the time — and that reaches down to relatively young men because boys often make simply seeing real boobs a high level aspiration for their own sightings and for their visual world.

That was probably more accurate as an answer for the youngest men before the internet made bosoms so easily available visually to young men — but that higher availability doesn’t change their high interest in actually seeing them just because they've been seen. It just changes their strategies for making that happen in the real world.

That set of visual aspirations is very true in marriages as well.

Men tend to aspire to actually see the bosom of their partner or wife in person and many married men want to have the visual of spousal boobs available electronically as well as a reminder of their own access and their sense of entitlement and pride on that particular issue and visual.

Men know that entire set of desires, aspirations, and interests to be true at a constant and perpetual level — and many women don’t have that set of thoughts and issues going though their minds at any level much of the time.

That’s a very big difference between men and women on that issue and that particular sexual reality.

A very high percentage of men tend to know that word and concept and that focus on boobs to be true and accurate with almost no contradiction as an absolute favorite visual for large numbers of men, and a surprising number of women in a number of settings have possibly heard it to be true, but the women don’t understand it or fully believe it because it’s usually not in the hard wiring of women to have any simple visual that creates that same level of positive response in their heads or hearts that boobs create for the thoughts and heads of men.

That isn’t speculation, hypothetical, or pure simple theory. We know what's being said.

We know that huge and important difference in awareness and perception between men and women about the relevance and importance of that word or topic to be true because we're blessed today with a rich array of social media venues and channels on the internet, and we can easily see what women talk about and what women see and say in the internet channels that are steered and created by women, and the word or term "boobs" is never in any of those conversations or in any of the thought trajectories that women share with each other in those settings.

Men mention it in every male setting. Women never mention it at all.

It clearly and absolutely doesn't come up for women in those venues or settings and we know that to be true because those are very public settings for all of those internet connections for women and we can see what’s in them and what’s being said there.

Instagram conversations and thought pieces done by women very seldom and almost never mention or understand or report that the key point of focus and the number-one topic that men tend to know and see as a core reality of life for sexual context is breasts and women never mention breasts in their various social media and in their fashion sites at all at any level.

We know from extensive data that men of all ages tend to mention breasts first when given a chance to put topics and interests on the table for their attention and focus and thinking and we know from extensive access to many thousands of women-written fashion and cosmetic sites and information flows that women don’t mention them at all.

We have aspirations for men and women to be aligned in our communities and various sites, and we seem to not have good ways of getting both men and women to share their approaches or information about those interactions.

Beauty counts.

Beauty is an extremely important word and concept for women on the internet, and the number of sites that show and demonstrate actual makeup strategies and approaches and fashion options number in the millions, and the women doing the sites often say that one of the reasons they aspire to be beautiful is to attract men into their world and to be so beautiful that they're a prime catch, a goal, and an achievement for successful men.

They don’t ever mention the fact in their beauty-focused sites that the men do say in some settings that they aspire to relationships with beautiful women, but the women’s sites tend not to ever mention that the actual bodies of the women as what they aspire to acquire or be with in those processes and they talk extensively and clearly about perfect makeup and not about any actual relationship factors or social or physical alignment with the men who appreciate their beauty and who love how they are made up.

We need beauty and warmth to share trajectories, and we need to talk about sex as having some link to fashion and beauty that ties them together in the real world and gives us relationships between men and women rather than trophy acquisition by both sexes as the goal of the process.

We're clearly failing badly for large numbers of men and women on those pathways and processes to have shared life trajectories for men and women create better lives for either sets of people.

We have women who are beautiful in a huge number of sites and they don’t seem to have better lives as the result of that achievement — and a large number of the women speaking on those sites seem unhappy with the total situation we're in and about many of the functional details of their lives.

Ninety Million Married Men Today Pay For Direct Electonic Interactions That Are Targeted In Explicit and Visual Ways To Sex

We've now reached the point where sexual relationships between men and women are supported by the internet that are personal, visual, immediate, and completely electronic.

It's now possible for men to go to the internet and select a woman from an array of possible choices and have a relationship with the woman who's highly sexual and completely electronic.

OnlyFans allows men to have a direct, interactive, and visual relationship with a woman and to pay the woman for showing her naked body and interacting on various conversational points in real-time with her client.

It's possible to have women hire women for that service, but it’s currently overwhelmingly men hiring women to have those interactions at this point in time.

The men ask the women to show their naked breasts on camera as the primary visual content of the process and they have conversations with naked women as part of the process.

It’s an extremely large customer base at this point in time. More than 90 million married men in America are currently buying that service and seeing those women. About 60 percent of the male customers are married.

About 5 million women sell those services today and about 2 million women do the bulk of the work for that service. Some of those women make millions of dollars, but most make far less and have it as a lower percentage of their annual income and cash flow.

Ninety million is a very large number, and it seems to be a majority of the married men in America who buy that service and see naked breasts as a regular part of their lives.

It's clearly a sexual relationship or sexual interaction between those men and women because they have that exchange of sexual visual information as part of the process.

Experts think that it’s entirely possible that a majority of the wives whose husbands are paying for those services don’t know that process or interaction exists, but that's probably a temporary situation and sheer logistics and family cash flow realities will undoubtedly cause the number of aware wives to increase over time.

Women and men are having conversations and sharing information in direct and one-on-one contacts with the other party and one of the key features of the relationship, and the process is that it's sexual contacts and the women can and do share sexual and visual information in response to requests done in real time by the men, but they never actually touch the men.

It’s clearly a sexual relationship between the men and the women.

But is it a sexual relationship or interaction that creates a fidelity issue with the marriage?

That’s probably something that each marriage will need to deal with in the context of the marriage commitment and the personal agreements and understandings that exist for the 90 million men who are married and who now buy the service.

It creates multiple layers of possible responses for all of the parties involved in the process. It's happening on a surprisingly large scale.

One estimate is that 60 percent of the married men in the country are buying that visual sexual information service from those women.

That reality and those volume levels points toward an upcoming possible explosion within the world of married people against the purchasers of that product and a potential major negative impact from all of those married women about their husbands paying to see the naked breasts of other women in real-time on the internet.

That backlash could be significant and very real.

At least some of the 90 million women whose husbands are paying money to interact on simple topics with another woman and to have that other woman’s breasts clearly visible on their husband’s computer screen are going to be unhappy, upset, and even angry with their husband about those interactions — and many will need to figure out the most appropriate response for interactions as they become aware of the process and the involvement of their spouses and their men going forward from here and now.

We know that more than 60 percent of the men in America watch some level of porn now, and the response of many wives might be to think of that current purchase of OnlyFans services as just an extension or another version of that pornography context and process that affects most men in this country now.

This set of contacts, however, feels significantly more important and threatening to a marriage than just viewing pornography on the screen. These OnlyFans relationships involve direct contact between the women and the men, and they have conversations and direct requests by the men for particular visual displays and sharing by the women.

We live in a rapidly changing world on all of our sex instinct issues.

Some of the 2 million women who are doing that work for those customers on the internet say in interviews and in a number of discussions they have with social media gurus and facilitators that they aren’t asked to do much more than share their own bosoms visually with the men who pay them. It's entirely possible and even probable that many of those 90 million men actually like and prefer the women that they're married to and would rather actually see the actual bosom in-person rather than pay to see it electronically through OnlyFans.

Women are less visual.

It’s hard to imagine that 90 million married women would pay to see any visual thing about sex on the internet because that’s not how most women are wired.

If married people decide to evolve their marriages and to include more visual sharing of sexual information inside the marriage, some women might find having their own body seen and appreciated in an appropriate, enthusiastic, positive, and appreciative way by the man they're married to might actually be an acceptable and even positive thing for some of those women and that experience could be a positive encounter within the marriage that could be good for the morale and the good will of both people in that relationship.

Women tend to hugely underestimate how much their husbands actually love, enjoy, and appreciate actually seeing the body of their partner for connubial bliss — as the theologian suggests us to aspire and think.

Many men love and enjoy their spouses and would rather get visual stimulation as an enjoyable experience in-person from their spouse, rather than pay someone to give them that basic visual that isn’t that hard to create at home.

But that doesn't happen in many settings because people in marriages often communicate so poorly about their goals, aspirations, and commitments to each other that it was never even discussed or considered.

An open understanding of the thought processes of many of the men involved with those encounters might conclude that it would be a very good thing to somehow have that view at home as a complement to a warm and accepting set of interactions and encounters within their own setting, and that could lead both parties in the marriage to enjoy the marriage more than they enjoy it now.

That might have both parties feeling better because it’s a good thing when we do good sexual things with one another and when we enjoy doing them because they're enjoyable things to do and we basically love and support the person we're doing them with.

Many marriages have a functional and basic solid underpinnings at some levels that neither partner sees, recognizes, or builds on too much of the time but actually exists in a setting because the parties actually do like each other and want the marriage to succeed.

It might only take a few sparks to make that appreciation visible and real a large percentage of the time for a significant number of relationships.

Either partner can activate that spark, but it sometimes takes a tiny bit of courage to do the activation if people don’t remember, recognize, understand, or know that it’s there.

We have very strong sexual instincts, and we should learn to deal with them in the most effective ways given the availability of the internet as a key component of that entire process today.

A very high percentage of our youngest men aren’t dating, and an increasing number say they don’t ever intend to marry.

They currently have a high level of contact with pornography as part of their sexual interest and involvement level. That can be a cold and frustrating process — and not good for the morale of any of the parties in that loop.

We might want to promote marriage and even set up a new set of hopes, dreams, and expectations about connubial bliss and we can steer both young men and young women down that pathway because it can be so much better for people’s lives when it happens, and it’s entirely possible to steer in that direction if we know what we're doing and show and know how good it can be for both parties when it happens.

We should steer away from the worst components of that sexual behavior and we absolutely should grow in wisdom and understanding and then steer away from the worst Us-Them instincts that get triggered all too often by our tribal behavior.

When we look at the use of the internet by women, we don’t see 90 million people buying views of the bosoms of other people, but we do see high levels of internet use by women and we see about 90 percent of the users focused on beauty and appearance and spending large and significant amounts of money on becoming more beautiful people in their own lives.

Beauty products that take layers of makeup and build extremely good-looking skin textures and eye configurations and various levels of lovely achievements for thousands of women fill the internet — and we see another level of internet interactions that are huge and powerful uses of that set of links and communications and create both markets and very real expectations for the women of our society and culture.

Beauty is huge internet business. Porn is also huge internet business. Beauty and porn are both extremely powerful channels for our behavior and for our resources and both will define and shape who we are going forward from here as a people and a country.

We should recognize that we're just like every other species that has two genders, and we have different sets of instincts for each sex and should figure out how to have those instincts work together to give us the generations of grandchildren we all want to have from that blend.

We can see the men in this culture paying for sex-related artificial intelligence programs and processes, and we can know and see that no woman is going to pay a robot to say "I love you" and we can know that we can take that blend of trajectories and end up with marriages that give us good sex and great grandchildren and that reinforce the very best future that we should be creating now as a nation because we understand our instincts and we know how to make them sing and dance on our behalf.

We want a future that gives us the best chance of overcoming our deeply tribal instincts and creating a context of inter group Peace that can give our children and grandchildren a country and a world at peace with itself at multiple levels.

We need to build on our internal relationship within our community and family settings so we don’t follow Gaza down the path to hating each other and being happy about the damage we do to other people.

We should all be focused on to keep our country from going to war with itself.

We need to slow down the rate of tribalization in this country.

We need everyone to understand how dangerous our tribal instincts are and how damaging our Us-Them behaviors are, and why we need to avoid them in the future.

We need to believe in America.

Chapter 17 of The Art of InterGroup Peace explains what we should commit to as a country to steer us in the right direction.

Check out Chapter 17 of the Art of Peace book.

We also need to decide that telling the truth should return as an expectation for Americans, and that we should go down that path now.

We need to absolutely understand how powerful our instincts are and how much they influence our lives.

We should look at the fact that quantum physics and quantum biology and quantum instincts and sociobiology and quantum metaphysics and consciousness are all clearly a gift to us and a package that we should appreciate and be optimal stewards for these next couple years of our lives.

Be well everyone.

It’s the right time for us to do exactly that.