We're creatures of Instincts — and we're shaped and guided every day by the interaction between the world we live in and all of the instincts that are embedded at multiple levels in our minds and in the thought processes that steer our lives.
We have instincts to be territorial, tribal, and loyal to our groups who we identify as being us — and we feel high levels of attachment, support, and protective concern about those people and those sets of realities in our world.
Every single actual living species has deeply embedded instincts that run, channel, direct, steer, and guide their lives. Other species don't invent behavior from scratch for the interactions they have with the world they live in. The survival of every species depends on them interacting with the world in the instinctive context that gives them support for the functional realities of their lives and gives it to them in effective and relevant ways that fit the needs of each species.
Bees have massive and extensive patterns of instincts that are relevant to each set and subset of bees and have them survive and even thrive in each setting they're in.
Bees do some fairly elaborate dances that teach and tell other bees in their hive where they should fly to find the exact food opportunities that are available in that setting. Those instinctive dances steer the other bees to the sites that will give that set of bees the supplies and nourishment they need to survive in that setting.
Each and every species has those sorts of instinctive tools embedded in them.
Wolf packs have very strong sets of instinctive behaviors that help them find food and then interact with each other in effective and relevant ways in the hunting process to create survival levels and achieve supplies of food that are needed for each group of wolves to exist.
Wolf packs also have strong instincts to mate, to create baby wolves, and to set up cultures within each pack to determine which wolves in each pack are alpha wolves, beta wolve, and even levels of theta wolves as the young wolves survive and grow into the adult population that helps their species survive in each setting.
We humans can recognize and relate to some of the instinctive behavior patterns that are soft wired into the wolves.
We also mate, have our own kinds of cubs, our own territorial turf battles and definitions, and we have alpha instincts that can create their own kinds of interactions and aspirations with us in each setting.
The patterns are consistent and easy to see in most settings where we live as a species today.
Being Us and Them is a powerful and impactful instinctive behavior.
We instinctively divide the world into Us and Them — and we tend to have very different feelings about people we see and identify in each of those categories in every setting.
We tend to feel protective of our Us and of our We group in each setting — and we tend to have negative, hostile, and often angry feelings toward whomever we believe in a setting is an actual Them.
The patterns that trigger Us-Them behaviors are consistent and powerful in their impact on our lives in every setting where we live.
Wolf packs identify other wolves as their own kind of Them and they're willing to fight to the death to damage Them or remove Them from a setting or turf. That behavior obviously feels very right to the wolves involved.
We tend to want to damage Them in our settings and we tend to suspend conscience and ethical beliefs relative to Them because we feel it's so right to support our Us that the ethics and morality standards we usually apply to Us are often completely irrelevant relative to Them.
That's a very common pattern of behavior across the planet in almost all of our settings.
There are more than 125 ethnic conflicts going on in the world today, and all of those conflicts trigger that set of behaviors and beliefs and have people shedding blood and doing damage with a sense that those behaviors are the right things to do.
It’s easy to see as soon as you learn to see it.
Nigeria, Somalia, Ethiopia, and Syria all have groups of people today who speak a different tribal language from each other who are killing people who speak the other language, and who are feeling very justified in their behavior.
Our news media is breathtakingly incompetent, inept, inadequate, intellectually diminished, and very inaccurate in their ability and in understanding, knowing, perceiving, and seeing that all of those conflicts in all of those settings are tribal at their core and then explaining that tribal reality to their readers and to their viewers and then explaining why and how that's true.
The media tends to write about those huge numbers of very clear conflicts as if they were each somehow situational and even ideological or political, and they ignore the obvious and easily discernable reality that the people killing other people in those settings are killing people with a different language, a different culture, and a different identity as a group — and there’s nothing relevantly political in those settings because the people identified in each of those settings as Kurds or Tibetan or Alawites can’t convert politically to becoming English or Irish, or to become some other tribe by relabeling themselves in the field in each setting with that other tribal name.
Gaza has more than 40 million dead people, today and they all have a different tribal identity than the people who are dropping the bombs there.
Ukraine has people who speak the Ukrainian language who are killing people whose tribal languages and tribal linkages have always been Russian, and the people on both sides in that war are feeling no guilt because they perceive the people they're killing to be Them.
Both of those settings have tribal instincts in full gear in very visible ways today and anyone who knows about tribes killing tribes based on those instincts can see what is happening there.
People kill other people and discriminate against others who activate and trigger that set of instincts that we activate in every setting where they feel like they're the right belief by the people in that setting about the other people in that setting.
Chechnya and the Alawites of Syria, and the Kurds of Turkey all have people with those tribal differences doing damage to each other today and feeling completely legitimate in whatever damage they do, because their instincts tell them the other group is a Them and not an Us.
We know what that behavior looks like in our own country.
We have a rich history in our country of activating those instincts and those behaviors at multiple levels and doing damage to other people with those instincts in gear.
Our instincts have led us very easily down those paths in a number of relevant and highly visible ways for most of our history.
Slavery was a prime example of part of our activation history for that set of instincts.
We enslaved people as a group for a couple of centuries.
We've also done massive ethnic cleansing and even somewhat genocidal behaviors against the original inhabitants of this space with those sets of dehumanizing instincts guiding our thoughts and behaviors relative to those sets of people.
Us-Them behavior relative to the original native American indigenous people of our continent couldn't have been more obvious, and it was too often both destructive and damaging.
People here who weren't perceived instinctively to be part of the White European American tribe that controlled the government were damaged as we evolved as a country to the context we're in now.
The good news is — we're now on better paths for a wide range of those behaviors, and we should be able to achieve a more enlightened and very positive, peaceful, and successful future if we understand exactly how those sets of instincts work and then channel them to create a collective Us based on our core beliefs instead of our race or tribe.
We've had a recent period of relatively enlightened behavior, and we should build on that enlightenment going forward from here as a nation.
We need to create a country that believes in inclusion for all our people and that aspires and commits to win-win behaviors for everyone who is here.
We should recognize how badly we've done in some areas up to now.
The White Tribe Took Control for Centuries
In this country, we've always discriminated in various ways against anyone who doesn't look like the original European tribe that took control of the land and then did partial ethnic cleansing against the native tribes who lived here.
That group looked ethnically White with very light skin colors for the group.
White Europeans were the primary Us group who created this nation as a political entity. The original Native American people who lived here by the tens of millions had a long history of being warriors against the other original tribes, and those original tribes didn’t form any effective coalitions or alliances against the invaders from Europe because of those historic animosities between tribes here.
Their resistance to the invasion by the European tribes was hampered hugely by having millions of people dying from the diseases brought here by the Europeans. Villages that had hundreds of thousands of people years before the Europeans arrived were wiped out entirely by those diseases.
White Europeans took over the continent and created the new set off identities and rules for local behavior. They had a mixed impact on the process — and we ended up with some very good trajectories for many of the things we wanted to do as Americans from that white tribal identity and reality.
We were blessed as a nation by having some of the most enlightened people on the planet who were living in this country taking control of the process at a key point in time and then creating our declarations of independence and then building our constitution to build an accountable and enlightened governing process. That governance process and group was very white at the beginning of that trajectory.
The people in control of that process were very European and very tribal relative to the other people who lived here, but they were politically enlightened in some ways at the same time and that enlightenment gave us a framework that was probably more progressive and positive in many political aspects than anything else that had happened historically anywhere on the planet up to that time.
That initial very mixed set of behaviors was easy to see and understand, and it had instincts shaping much of it in very clear ways that were both negative and positive for our goal of being an enlightened country and people.
Slavery was part of the package.
Slavery is an ultimate and extremely definitive Us-Them behavior. We had slavery as a key part of our history for over 200 years and we had to fight a very bloody war to get it out of existence.
The former slaves have been damaged in multiple ways by discriminatory laws and behaviors, and we've made great progress at multiple levels and we have a long way to go to achieve an optimal setting for everyone and every group that lives here.
Us-Them instincts are extremely powerful and we need to use intellectual wisdom to create a new Us for the country that's based on our ideals and our values; not just our race.
Those instincts are flexible and powerful at the same time, and they can be channeled to build an Us based on our beliefs and not on our ethnicity or gender.
Let's Build on Enlightened Beliefs Instead of Race
We have a set of inclusive and enlightened values that we can and should build on to create the very best America of the future. We need to overcome some very powerful challenges that have tribal thinking that will make those enlightened beliefs not easy to use at this point in our history if we want to create the very best trajectory going forward from here.
We can get there from here, but it won’t be easy, inevitable, or automatic.
We're tribalizing politically in our country at this point in time and we need to help people understand how important it will be for us at this moment in time to teach the entire country that we need to rise above and optimize our instincts at the core level to achieve inter group Peace.
We need to understand where we are now.
As a country, we've discriminated against people by race, ethnicity, and tribe, and we've also discriminated massively by sex and gender.
Sex is extremely relevant because it determines whether we'll have a future for purely biological reasons.
Our cultures have dealt in very explicit and sometimes complicated ways with sex.
Basic biological realities and functionalities have caused cultures everywhere to treat people differently by gender. We have a long history of discriminating against women at multiple levels. We didn't even give women the right to vote in this country until the most recent century, and we've discriminated at multiple levels in ways that we see happen in cultures across the planet.
Babies are important.
We need babies in order to survive as a species. We need to have offspring, and we need them to survive and hopefully thrive in each setting.
In the early days of our species, when we were hunter-gatherers in our various villages, we needed the men to protect the group and to hunt the game that created core survival calories in many settings, and we needed women to have babies and nurture them and protect them in ways that enabled them to survive.
We raise our children very slowly as a species and we need to feed and protect them for the better part of a decade at, a minimum level, to make sure they don’t all die after being born.
That created some expectations and rules for our cultures.
Out cultures serve our instincts in every setting. Our cultures are the sets of rules and expectations we set up in every community to achieve the goals and expectations that our instincts create. Our cultures give us the tools we need to make our instincts successful in each setting.
We're hard wired to be loyal to our group and we're hard wired to follow the cultures created by each group setting to guide our behavior.
Culture Serves Our Instincts at Multiple Levels
We're so linked and tied to our cultures that we will set up cultural rules for standing in line at airports, and people in the line feel real anger if someone violates those rules in that setting.
Each group creates its own culture and we tend to build them in very explicit ways with the intent of achieving the goals and expectations that our instincts create. We tend to feel great loyalty to our groups and we extend that loyalty to the culture that our groups create.
We believe that our cultures are somehow right at a core level.
There are many rules about men and women in every culture — and we can see why some of them exist if we look at both our biology and our relative instinctive behaviors that relate to sexual issues.
Our cultures have roles for men and women about the basic functioning of every setting. Some of the cultural expectations for women that seem to exist everywhere clearly relate to keeping our children healthy and alive, and some of the cultural expectations for men are clearly intended to protect and enable and support those processes.
After women gave birth, the people in every setting needed an ongoing supply of food to keep the children alive. If we look at those settings where those kinds of family gatherings exist today, or existed in the recent past, the usual model in many settings was to have men skilled at hunting, fishing, and at the various kinds of protein collection processes that were needed by each group to keep the family fed.
Men often were expected by their cultures to hunt for food, and the male behaviors reinforced that process.
Mothers protected the children. Mothers also tended to maintain the hut and to cook or prepare the food for the family and group. They did a lot of gathering of nuts and berries, and the cultures of many groups often had those gathering processes creating a major supply of calories as well to keep the family alive.
The mothers often had relatively few options for nonparental and external activity roles, and the cultures and settings that seemed to survive in those early parts of our history had women overwhelmingly in those roles.
Many packages of instincts triggered both men and women by those realities. We had courting instincts, and both genders seemed to have parts of the courtship process that they liked doing and made a priority for their lives.
For the sake of this discussion, we're going to discuss and understand the instincts that tie to each gender and each sex in traditional ways and assume that basic biology is the key factor for the instincts and for the cultures set up in each setting.
Sex, itself, is an important factor in the instinctive behavior packages.
Sex can be a blessing and a positive experience and beneficial activity for people when it happens in ways that work in functional and appropriate ways for the people involved — and it's also a hugely powerful instinctive behavior for many species in the time frames and settings when it's the right thing to do to activate and trigger basic sexual activities for each species.
Wolves have instincts about sexual behavior, and wolves and other species that have sexual activity all seem and tend to make it a very real and important priority for their thoughts, actions, and behaviors at the point in the process where it's needed for that species to succeed and survive as a species.
Those patterns are entirely specific and explicit to each species and they're not identical at any level as a generic set of behaviors. Stallions and mares have obvious patterns that relate to sexual activity with immediate relevancy to horses and male salmon actually sometimes swim 1000 miles to fertilize their eggs and those fish don’t have any other focus when that particular set of sexual activities is needed for that species to survive.
We can easily see how a wide range of species do sexual things at the right moments in time to keep their species intact and perpetuating itself in highly programmed sexual behaviors.
We fall into that pattern of behavior in very clear and highly motivated and choreographed activities that are obvious when we perceive them and understand what they are for our lives and for the survival of our offspring.
For our species, sex can actually be a beneficial, motivating, sometimes joyful, and often positive activity when we create the right alignments between our settings, our communities, and our own lives.
Our cultures set up multiple expectations and rule sets about sexual behaviors, and the cultures tend to create those expectations with the goal of both meeting our instinctive behavior goals and the survival strategies of each group we belong to.
We have a number of behaviors and expectations created in our cultures by that hunter-gatherer reality to steer male and female behaviors and activities for the group.
We're in a very different functional and economic reality today, but we have a long history of being organized in the context of hunter-gatherer settings, and many of our culture expectations that still guide us today were based on that set of functional realities.
One set of goals and cultural guidelines exists to keep the males in each group in long-term contact with their family setting and tribe.
In many of those social and functional tribal groupings and settings, the cultures very much wanted the males in the setting to continue to hunt game and to protect the hearth against wild cats and hungry bears after the woman is impregnated, so most cultures build a reward system for the males to stay in the family setting and to not abandon the family that's part of his genetic trajectory.
One reward that cultures used to make that happen is sex itself.
Sex can be an extremely pleasant and positive thing, and it's often a priority interest for many of our people at least part of the time. Both genders have sexual interests and activities — and the patterns seem to be a bit different in many settings based on gender. Many young men have intense focus and energy directed at sexual issues and that drives thinking, behaviors, and interactions with other people and with the community and context they live in.
The normal pattern that we have has young men in most settings to have a strong interest in various levels of sexual activity and contact — and many young men tend to be highly motivated to have that activity as part of their lives.
A candid and open discussion of those interests and instincts requires honest discussion and disclosure relative to those thought processes and behaviors. We can’t steer clearly to guidance and understanding about future levels of sexual activity for our communities and settings if we don’t factor that interest and level of energy into the discussions in accurate and honest ways.
Most cultures that we can see in those hunter-gatherer settings addressed those issues very directly, and many cultures decided to even limit sexual activity for men to the family setting for those men. Sex in any other setting is against the law for both men and women in many cultures, and young men who wanted to have sex in those basic communities dealt with the rule set for many cultures was that men needed to be married and have a wife in order to have that sexual contact and activity happen in the context of that relationship.
Several sets of instinctive behaviors are often activated by that set of sexual interests and motivations.
We have alpha instincts that are often relevant to that process.
Alpha Instincts Have Major Impact in Multiple Ways
One of the strongest instincts we have as people is to achieve alpha status in a setting. People aspire to be alpha and many find the phycological rewards of being alpha to be very rewarding emotionally and to be clearly motivational for their thinking and behavior.
There are a number of neurochemical rewards that get triggered in the wolf packs and in the herds of horses by achieving alpha status for the group, and we have an obvious set of parallel behaviors that happen for our alpha members of our groups. We can see alpha status in many areas and settings.
Men tend to be heads of families in most of our community settings.
Almost every culture that we've seen across the planet has set up men to be the alpha head of each family. Men have traditionally been family leaders with that status — and even the US census listed men as “head of family” in our country on that reporting system about three decades ago.
Men have been enticed with that status in many cultures and settings to stay with their marriages to achieve both sex and power in their own lives because sex happens in marriages and being the head of a family group triggers that sense of being alpha for at least part of the setting.
Marriages also gave men assurances that they were more likely to be the actual biological parent of the children in their family.
The issue of parentage is also a key factor in our cultural rule set for many settings and gets a high level of energy and interest for each family where children exist.
Women always know which child they gave birth to, but we can’t always tell, determine, or know who was the actual father of any particular child. Men stay with families in part by believing that the children in that setting came from their lineage, and very restrictive rules and requirements about women’s behavior in many cultures helped create and reinforce that belief and make men more comfortable about making the commitment to support the relationships they're in.
That biological and functional reality about uncertain parentage for children relative to the father of each child has caused many cultures to set up very strict rules about women's contact with other men to make sure that each man is protecting and feeding his own children.
Some cultures have set up extremely negative and highly controlling functions for women for that area, and those cultures sometimes do cruel and damaging things to women to enforce those rules.
Some cultures expel women from the culture or setting if they believe that the woman might have violated some of those strict behavior and interaction rules.
Women are killed today in some settings if their family believes that that kind of violation of the sanctity of the isolation has occurred.
Even today, we have many thousands of honor killings happening in several cultures where the brothers or other family members stone and kill girls who spent any time in any setting that they believed meant that her “honor” might have been impaired.
The possibility of a mistake in that area of absolute security on the honor issue is enough to get many girls killed today. That's a horrible situation, and we should do what we can to not support or encourage that behavior in the many places where it still happens.
We need to not allow women to be damaged by those sets of expectations and rules.
We need to not do sexual abuse in our own settings as well.
We need to have our own gender-related negative behavior channeled in good directions. We need to have actual sexual abuse in our country reduced to low levels and we need our work settings to be functionally intolerant of damaging behavior that hurt women in wide range of ways.
We actually have made significant progress on many gender-related abuse issues in those areas in the last couple of years as the result of the Me Too movement that made women in many of our settings less accepting of some negative and inappropriate behaviors that we ignored for many years, and created a significantly better level of expectations relative to a wide range of negative sexual behavior as the result of that awareness.
We need to be very honest, insightful, and wise relative to our own expectations about sexual behavior and activities today.
The internet and the new artificial intelligence tool kits have made pornography and sexual imagery of various kinds available to anyone.
We're increasingly vulnerable to the new artificial intelligence sex toys and even sex toy robots, and they'll be an increasing threat at an alternative way of having our sexual needs met.
Sex should be a positive, beneficial, and even wonderful thing, because it’s so deeply engrained in who we are and it can be so good in our lives if we deal with it in the most appropriate ways. Men will continue to be instinctively triggered to visual sexual stimulation because that’s wired into our brains and our perceptions, and there’s no reason not to deal with that in the most appropriate and respectful ways without saying that it’s wrong to have those triggers part of who we are.
We need to be non-obtrusive and noninvasive, and we should be respectful and quietly appreciative of the beauty we can see in each other in those settings.
We should be able to celebrate being visually pleased and attracted in respectful and appropriate ways to whomever we find meets our hopes and expectations for visual stimulation and sexual interest visual triggers. We need to recognize that sexual imagery should be non-obtrusive, private, and respectful of the people who are currently seen in those sexual settings on the internet.
We Need to be Aiming for Connubial Bliss and Successful Marriages
Men are wired to be highly visual in their sexual interests, and that’s not a bad thing because it's so very real and can be addressed in ways that violate no privacy issues for the relevant people and settings. We should have consensual and voluntary visual relevance to be part of the next wave of expectations we need to address and deal with in our web-related information sharing for this next generation of sexual instinct activation.
The Swedish theologian Emanuel Swedenborg wrote about the blessings of God in our lives in his thought pieces, and he counted Connubial Bliss as one of the very best blessings we get from a loving God because it can be so wonderful when it's done well and when it's mutually enjoyed.
Swedenborg strongly believed in marriage in a very Lutheran way and he believed that we each should be married and we should learn to each find mutual bliss in that relationship.
He believed that we should enjoy the entire array of those marital activities and that we should thank God for the opportunity to have sex be part of our lives.
As we look at sexual activity, it’s clear that we should be completely and absolutely consensual in our interactions. As a basic belief and commitment, we should avoid any nonconsensual sexual behaviors and we should avoid coercive sexual activities with the other people in the sexual components of our world.
No one should be forced into any sexual behavior.
We should all be entitled to privacy as well.
Privacy issues are extremely important and relevant to us in the internet age. We need to respect and protect privacy for all parties., We shouldn't have anyone sending or sharing visual information that was stolen or taken from any private sources without the approval of the person being portrayed in the piece and information and we should each be respectful of that information and shouldn't encourage or support coercive or nonconsensual sharing of that kind of information.
As we look at visual images on the internet, there’s no reason for us not to only use visual images that we believe are consensual in their availability and their display.
In the context of Connubial Bliss, each couple can and should set their own standards for the visual availability of images of the world and of each other and should work out the rule sets and standards that work for each relationship for viewing information and activity and we should understand and appreciate the joy and beauty of visual images that fall into those clear instinctive awarenesses and guidance.
The highest volume of use for the internet is sexual images. There are many levels of pornography that use sexual visual information as a core component for their processes and information.
We Have Growing Numbers of Direct Sexual Contacts that Happen Only on the Internet
We now have a series of internet linked opportunities to be visually stimulated at a direct and personal level, and we need to have those opportunities be consensual, voluntary, respectfully aligned, and celebratory of the visual stimulation triggers that are built into our sexual instincts, because those instincts are extremely important and we need to use them well if we're going to achieve inter group Peace and enlightened behaviors as a society and a country.
The internet now is creating direct contacts between people on sexual issues in ways that are very different than our prior interactions, contacts, and linkages.
Many people are on the route of consensual visual sharing of sexual information with each other in our country today through internet connections, and that's likely to be part of the new normal for visual realities and context going forward as the next set of interactions for those instinctive behaviors today.
It's now possible to create a direct interaction link with other people in this country in a series of sex-related viewings — and a significant number of men, in particular, are going down that path today and are creating direct contact with women with those instincts activated.
We need to be clear and aware about what's happening today supported by the internet in those areas.
A significant number of women go to the internet now to create direct visual relationships and contacts with men in our country — and that set of connections and contacts seems to be growing rapidly at this moment in time.
There's some evidence that today there are more than 90 million married American men who look at and interact with the women who have what are labelled as OnlyFans links to the internet and create those connections to those men.
There's a business associated with those contacts and it's doing well.
We need to understand what sets of instincts are being triggered to the point that so many men are buying that service and having it be part of their behavior patterns today.
Less than 5 percent of the women are on the other side of that relationship and we know that about 2 million OnlyFans women make up about 90 percent of those 90 million contacts.
Those 2 million women charge men for their visual interactions. Some of those women make large sums of money for those contacts. Some seem to make millions of dollars.
Most of those women make much less money, but they all still get paid for exposing their own bodies to the men in exchange for that money, and those numbers of men who are willing to pay to see actual exposed and naked bodies are growing.
Men contract at a direct level with each woman in the OnlyFans world and they have both conversations and visual sexual exposure and displays that are requested and paid for by the men in exchange for money.
Some of the 2 million women who are doing that work say in interviews and discussions that are posted on the internet that they aren’t asked to do much more than have a nice conversation and then share their own bosoms visually with the men who pay them to do that display for them.
That seems like a sad and unnecessary expense for a basic visual encounter that's not a wrong thing for people to share or see in the bosom of their own homes under the right circumstances, but sometimes is an unfortunate expense that's tied directly to that instinctive hardwiring of men to see some parts of women’s bodies without clothes.
That’s a very large number of men paying for that perception and view.
It's entirely possible and actually logical that some and even many of those 90 million men who make that choice actually prefer the bodies and the bosoms of the women they're married to and that many men would rather actually see the actual bosom in-person for their own domicile contact rather than pay to see it electronically. through OnlyFans.
Men are clearly often very simple creatures.
Men are wired to be visual.
Women are usually a bit less visual and many women say they don’t understand what the men aspire to or why they aspire to that vision and that direct and explicit view in that process.
It’s hard to imagine that 90 million married women would pay to see any visual thing about each other or their partners and their couple components, because that’s clearly not how most women are wired visually.
There might be a bright spot in that sad economy and that instinctive behavior reality that could steer us to a more productive and positive trajectory.
It’s not hard to imagine that some or many of the 90 million women in those marriages might find having their own body seen and their own body appreciated in an appropriate way by their husband or partner in their own home might actually be a positive thing for at least some of those women, and it’s possible that having that visual information sharing happen could be a positive encounter within the marriage that could be relatively easy to accomplish if it felt like the right thing to do in the context of the relationship between the people involved in each setting agreed to it, and if the parties had an honest and non-judgmental conversation about what was happening and why they were doing what they were doing to create that outcome and visual reality.
Women seem to tend to hugely and significantly underestimate in many purely heterosexual relationships how much their husbands actually love enjoy, and often appreciate visually perceiving and seeing the body of the woman who is their partner for connubial bliss — as the theologian suggests us to think about our marriages — and many men logically love and appreciate their own spouses and at least some men would rather get some direct visual stimulation from their partner as an enjoyable experience in-person in the marriage, rather than pay someone to give them that basic visual impact and then receive that information and visual impact over the internet from a total stranger.
Some families could possibly save money as a family unit by somehow dealing with whatever those visual request and sexual interests are in some respectful and loving way at home and by not having any external commercial process collecting money for the visual looks at those connubial bosoms that 90 million men are clearly willing to pay for now.
We should agree with Reverand Swedenborg and we should try to achieve, support, and enjoy connubial bliss in as many settings as possible.
Marriage can create wonderful, beneficial, and mutually supportive experiences for people and we will be stronger and more economically successful as a community and a nation if our marriages are successful in ways that we know are possible because they happen for some couples and some settings now.
That includes every kind of marriage between consenting adults, and we should aspire to have them all succeed in as many settings as possible.
We have some risks ahead of us relative to the instincts that tie us to sexual behavior, and we should aspire to have those instincts be an asset for us as a community and a people.
We humans have very strong sexual instincts, and we should learn to deal with them in the most effective ways given the availability of the internet as a key component of that entire process today.
There are some alarming warning signs happening on sexual issues here at several levels.
A very high percentage of our youngest men aren’t dating, and a growing number of younger men now say they don’t intend to marry. They have a high level of contact with pornography as part of their sexual interest and involvement level. And basically, some seem to have their own kinds of addiction to pornography as part of that entire visual process.
We would be much better off if we decided to make marriage a top priority as a society and if we learned to do a better job with those marital interactions by recognizing the instincts we have for families and sex, and if we learned to get better at both.
Connubial bliss should be our goal.
We might want to set up a new set of expectations about connubial bliss and we should steer both young men and young women down that pathway, because it can be so much better for people’s lives when it happens — and it’s entirely possible to steer in that direction if we know what we're doing and show how good it can be for both parties when it happens with loving commitments from both parties in each setting.
We should steer away from the worst components of that sexual behavior and we absolutely should grow in wisdom and understanding, and then steer away from the worst Us-Them instincts that get triggered all too often by our tribal behavior.
We've reached the point where artificial intelligence and related commercial interests are creating sexual programming that gives customers a very strong and carefully designed set of programs that make the customers feel sexually stimulated and sexually pleased through some processes that feel sexually right to the people who buy and use those programs.
Those programs tie to and link with our powerful sets of sexual instincts, and they're dangerous, because those instincts are so powerful and we feel the neurochemical rewards triggered by them in very addictive ways when they are activated.
We also have a growing number of extremely realistic and very attractive and well-designed sex robots that perform actual physical sex acts that also link to those physical and instinctive behaviors with actual contacts and interactions and give their owners sexual services and activities that exceed the fantasies that people had before that set of tools existed.
Instagram can now link you to a personal sex robot that is relatively affordable and promises to be continuously improving in both performance and design.
We're living in a strange new world relative to those sets of issues, and we need to get grounded in our overall reaction to our basic instincts because they're going to steer our lives and we should be well informed and wise in what we chose to do now in our communities and our world.
We Need to Slow Tribalism for America
We definitely need to slow down the rate of tribalization in this country, because we face the risk of being badly damaged as people and a nation by that package of instinctive behaviors in the wrong hands.
Gaza has chosen tribal instincts as its primary set of priorities and activities, and we're now going past 50,000 dead people there and living people who hate each other and who will damage each other indefinitely with those instincts in gear and having those instincts making evil behavior feel legitimate and right for everyone living in that setting.
We need everyone in our own country to understand how dangerous our tribal instincts are and how damaging our Us-Them behaviors are, and why we need to avoid them in the future to have a peaceful and safe future for our own communities and country.
We have a chance to succeed.
We need to believe in America.
This chapter in the third edition of The Art of InterGroup Peace explains what we should commit to as a country to steer us in the right direction.
Check out Chapter 17 of The Art of InterGroup Peace book.
That chapter looks at our entire set of core and basic beliefs and askes us to become an American Us based on what we believe to be true and what we believe we should build as a country.
Send in your thoughts to the Institute website about which of those enlightened commitments should evolve as we go forward as a country to create the future we should be achieving now in this country.
We also need to decide that telling the truth should return as an expectation for Americans, and that we should go down that path now.
We need to absolutely understand how powerful our instincts are and how much they influence our lives.
Be well everyone.
It’s the right time for us to do exactly that and to actually be well as a people and a country and a set of believers who think enlightened behaviors should be our goal and our strategy going forward from here.